It's A Love Story
by klcm
Summary: It's time for confessions from two members of the B.A.U. but it's never easy to get it out when the moment occurs is it?
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

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_**A/N:**_** Right this is the prologue to my new story... not sure if to continue... but it's basically no talking it just running thoughts!**

**If it is continued it will turn into a normal story...promise!**

**Anyway enjoy!**

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PROLOGUE!

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I wonder if I am the only woman that sits in their chair at work and wonders whether the 'Once upon a time' scenario will actually happen. I wonder if that's a delusional aspect to have of life and all its entireties but since meeting my best friend that seems plausible. As I sit here in my lair, surrounded by my colourful figures and pictures of my family I can't help but think that in this job not always does once upon a time come true.

Maybe once upon a time is for spectators whose jobs are less involved, whose jobs are more placid, not like mine where I sit in my office with my computers and look and dig and hack and snoop into the personal lives of either the deceased or the temporarily or permanently labelled insane. My life doesn't get a happily ever after, not if it doesn't truly start with the once upon a time. Although Derek would spank me for thinking like this, I would certainly disagree with him over and over again, happily ever after's never occur for the computer geek that sits all day talking to her unconventional family via a phone.

It's times like this, that I sit in my office awaiting the arrival of the B.A.U.'s kick arse squad as they arrive back from a finished case and have time to think, to replay my life that I realise I have had too many things happen to allow me the way to a happy ending. Whether Derek likes it or not, my optimism just doesn't flow whole heartedly into my own life, instead it is spread into his life, in Emily's, JJ's, Reid's, Rossi's and Hotch's life. I have acceptance for the bad since joining the B.A.U. but never do I regret it. Sometimes love does come around and knock you down but sometimes it just... well doesn't. I'm on the doesn't end of it.

I've met some men in my life, the only good ones are those 4 men that are part of the B.A.U. otherwise they always seem to disappoint. Let's use an example, KEVIN LYNCH, met him after I was shot by JAMES COLBY BAYLOR or JASON CLARK BATTLE, whatever psychotic personality he wanted on that 'date' will baffle me to the end of my days. Anyway back to Lynch, no reason for first names, well we kind of played cyber chase, I caused it, he followed and just like that I out did him, he told me I was good, I liked his smile, he spoke my language, he had my interests in computers but he didn't amount to anything. We dated, I suppose you have to call it love but it wasn't, I never could fully love him; it was a relationship full of deceit. His scrawny other half was the deceit on his behalf. Best escape ever I feel now. He left Quantico soon after, got married in Las Vegas and now resides in Maine, well let's hope he gets a happily ever after with the wife that he doesn't know is a hooker by night.

One man that has devoted time to me is Derek Morgan, now I could easily waste a day, a week, a month, a year, Christ even a lifetime, day dreaming about him. My best friend has graced my life for over 8 years, he has stood by me, protected me, looked out for me, looked after me, even loved me but his love stems no further than from that of a brother. So I sigh as my prince charming goes off with endlessly girls and be the player he is. I want him to settle down but there's an almighty pang of jealously every time I see a woman wrap herself around his lean muscle body. I never ask myself, maybe his sits there on the plane coming home thinking of me; it's just not going to happen. We have good phone... conversations that is, it's enjoyable but I feel selfish, I want more. Why does everything in life have to come with the tag, we always want what we can't have?

I look over at the clock, it's gone midnight, they should be walking into the building any moment, I think I'll look through the glass and head home, my thoughts are annoying me, always of the same things... the him's in the world!

Why can't life be simple? Maybe it would be if I was just honest with Derek, told him how I felt but reinforced that I don't mind if the feelings aren't reciprocated from his side... it's time to get this off my chest once and for all.

**-MG--MG--MG--MG--MG--MG--MG--MG--MG--MG--MG--MG--MG--MG--MG--MG--MG--MG--MG-**

There should be rules and regulations for absolutely everything, but there's not and that's a major bummer. I'm a ladies' man, no denying that, I love women but there is one woman that never does the chase, she never flirts seriously but she is the one woman I wish would. We have our banter, flirtatious glances, even the nicknames, we hold hands in public, I pull her close but it appears she is never really into me. I'm told otherwise, and sometimes I catch a glare at me and wonder if maybe just maybe she is thinking what I'm thinking. This woman, Penelope Garcia, has been in my life for over 8 years and every day I speak to her, every day I see her I get breathless, her touch leaves a tingle, I can picture things with her that I cannot with other women.

I hate going away on cases, it pulls me from her, from where she is in the world to hug her when she's seen one too many horrors. She has no idea how far this feeling for her goes and while she was with that Lynch I never broached it with her, but he broke her heart and now I feel it's time. I don't care if she doesn't feel the same but at the end of the day if I keep this in it will slowly eat me alive. I sit at my desk and think of her in her office, I sit in the plane and think of her, I know it's not normal to think of her all the time but I do and it feels natural. I think the thing that prompts me more is my mother, always after her grandbabies, always pointing the finger at how I only speak about Penelope so maybe she's right. Mother's usually are.

I mean the feelings hit me full blown when I received a phone call to tell me Penelope had been shot, the fear that rose I thought I might be physically sick, it was then a question of life and death. While she was hurt, in surgery, in pain I was in church praying for the first time since my childhood. How bizarre is that? My best friend is fighting for her life and there I am talking to the man that let me down over and over again. After that I took it day by day, my religion that is. Before all that my baby girl needed me and by her side I would stay. I told her I loved her the first night she was home, she reciprocated the saying and yet I stupidly didn't prove to her what type.

Right now I sit on the plane with the rest of the team bar Penelope, and see the sea of emotions that plague their faces. There's Reid who still doesn't quite know how to fully equipped himself for the horrors endured, he tells himself his okay but I can tell his battling some inner demons. There's Hotch and Rossi, the two bosses who evidently have been there and done it but still cannot fully hide the pain on their faces from the destruction caused. JJ is clearly thinking of her little boy, Henry, one of the loves in her life. Whenever the case ended she calls Will and gets him to put Henry on the phone, from there all the issues would disperse. Emily retreats into a French novel, a way to stop her thoughts getting the better of her. Now there's me, I either put my earphones on and get lost to music, play cards with Reid or get on the laptop to my baby girl.

When we land I know we will go back to the bureau and she'll be there. I'll start paperwork but I get to see her before she finally leaves. We all know she'll have been there completely dedicated since the case began, and seeing us walk in she'll head off home.

I always find the drive from the airstrip to the B.A.U. building a time to reflect. To reflect on what nightmares became a reality to us. I suppose I'm use to the wait that comes with a new Unsub, what I'm not use to is living it as they go on a wider spree of murder and corruption. I'm also never ready for a cop or fellow agent to get shot, if I'm there I feel guilty, like I should've seen the dangers, I should've been prepared. But this is all in hindsight now. Apart from self reflection I also use it as a time to clear my head and make decisions.

The decisions made today are that some truths need to be spilt, all to my baby girl. Time to start a brand new chapter in my life. I hope.

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_**A/N:**_** So some M/G thoughts! Shall I continue into a lovey dovey story? **

**Lemme know!**

**R&R is appreciated....!**


	2. Running thoughts

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

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**_a/n:_** I just want to say thank you for all the reviews and comments... glad you liked it!

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Mini key:-

Derek's thoughts: bold and italic.

Penelope's thoughts: italic

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_**Here she comes, she thinks she can just walk up, have and look and leave, oh how wrong she is. I haven't seen that sexy frame for over 2 weeks and there is no way that she is just looking and leaving.**_

_**I turned and man that wasn't what I was expecting to see at 12:47 at night. She is looking gorgeous. God I need to stop this.**_

_Damn it, his seen me... however much I wind myself up to talk to him I can't, it's impossible, how can I blurt out that I love him? God he looks so sexy, it should be a crime. His definitely seen me, I can't scurry away now... so here it goes. Be still my beating heart, it's only Derek Morgan._

'Hey bay girl.' Derek says as he stands, and walks towards her.

'Hey hot stuff.' She replies as she closes the gap. _God he is so fine and smells so good... Shut up Penelope!_

'You okay goddess?' _**She looks so tired, and her eyes tell a whole other story, something is bothering her.**_

'Yeah I'm fine, just tired.' _YOU you're my problem... it has to be crime... or an illusion._

'Sure?' _**She's holding back from me.**_

'Positive... but I'm going to head off home._' To have a word with my thoughts._

'Okay, Hotch has given us the next 4 days off...' She nods to him. 'Want to spend tomorrow together?' _**Just me and you.**_

'Yeah I like that idea.' _Of course you do Penelope... _

'Good... I'll bring some surprises with me and we can chill.' _**Note to self: Tell her!**_

'Sounds good.' She sorted his collar. 'Now you have fun writing that report up and then get some sleep, and I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.' Her minds eye widened as Derek kissed her forehead. _Note to self: Do NOT wash forehead! _

She then left him standing there, she knew he was watching her but she could cope with his touches, his smile, his smell.... just him.

_Okay Penelope you wash that forehead you know there will be more to come, it's a friendly affection from your best friend... don't blow your friendship... just don't._

_**Does she know one day I will spank her for being so fine... and hopefully she will show me that good morning.**_

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The next morning Penelope lay awake her curls sporadically fallen over her pillow. The back of her hands placed on her forehead, her mind in and out of sleep. In sleep = Derek, out of sleep = Derek. _Jesus I need a new hobby. _She thinks as she pulls the quilt up and turns on her side, it was only 6:09am and she was not for any reason going to get up. Attempts to shut off her mind worked and she fell asleep again.

_**Hmm okay Derek it is now 8:46am, you have been sitting in your car for the last 46 minutes it's time to get in there, it's only Penelope after all.**_ Derek sighed, and got out; grabbing the bags he had with him. _**Key, key, key where did I put the key?**_ Finally remembering the key was on his car keys as per usual he breathed out, this was too weird. He put the key in and entered the small apartment. _**Mm smells good.**_ He shook his head of thoughts and proceeded to put the bags down. Once he had done so he peered into the bedroom, she was still asleep. He smiled to himself and left before he lost all human control.

_What the hell?_ Penelope thought as she sat up to the smell of cooking.

'Morning baby girl.'

'Derek!' She said startled.

_**No one should look that good in the morning... it's unreal.**_ 'I told you I was bringing surprises.'

'Well in that case... I'll show you a good morning hot stuff.'

'Will you?' _**Oh yeah cool Derek... just make her run.**_

'Maybe one day handsome maybe one day.' _PENELOPE! Seriously? _He watched her sit up fully and then slide off the bed. 'So what's for breakfast?_' Because if you don't move, it will be you._

'Pancakes... bacon... you name it....' _**But I'd much rather have you.**_ 'Come on baby girl... let's get you fed.'

'I'm coming... let me get dressed.'

'P stay in your pyjamas.' He called.

She laughed. 'You got to be kidding right... so it's okay for you to be dressed?'

'I have my own form of pyjamas.'

_Please don't say just boxers._ 'What would they be then?'_ Again_ p_lease don't say just boxers_

'You'll have to wait and see. Now come on we have food awaiting eating.'

She walked out and smiled, there was a table set for two, a red rose. _Aw sweet._ 'What's the occasion... the last time you did this was after Kevin.'

'I thought you looked like something was bothering you so I'm using my day to cheer you up.' _**I know something is up with you... in fact it was written all over you last night... oh and still is.**_

'I'm fine... the case was another demanding one that's all... I just wanted to get home.'

'Do you feel better?'

'Yes.' _And the first lie of the day has been spoken._

He raised an eyebrow at her but decided to let it rest. 'Right well you enjoy.'

After breakfast, Derek was now wearing sweats and a thin top although he had said he hardly ever wears a top to bed, he didn't want to feel too naked. Not that Penelope minded. He had sent her to get a shower and he was doing the washing up, his head full of thoughts. _**Right so you tell her, you tell then and there that you love her, not like a toy or a brother, but you're in love with her. Man you've had these feelings for nearly 3 years, something's got to give.**_

Usually the water acted as a barrier to the outside word but not today, Penelope's thoughts had followed her into the shower and now she wanted to connect her head with the wall in aggravated annoyance. _It's Derek Morgan you're best friend, his not Kevin Lynch, he would be a gentleman about it... but do you seriously want to run the risk of ruining your amazing friendship with professing love? No? Didn't think so._

Both the pair were lost in thought when they came to be in the same room as one another, both unknowingly about the same thing. Penelope ended her train of thought and looked at him.

'So what's on the agenda handsome?'

'Some film watching, some eating, some fun.'

'Does the film include a cuddle? _Smooth Penelope real smooth._

'If you want it.' _**It's always a start I suppose but it's still not telling her.**_

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**_a/n: okay so I am trying something different with combining a normal story with thought processes.... so let me know if its working or if its confusing!_**


	3. Bad Timing

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

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Mini key:-

Derek's thoughts: _**bold and italic.**_

Penelope's thoughts: _italic_

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_**You had her so close that night Derek! So close! You could of whispered in her ear a simple I love you... but no you let the film play... and the next one... oh and the third... you spent 15 hours with her and never once did you broach it!**_

'Morgan... everything okay?' Emily asked from her desk, having noted that Derek was certainly mulling something over.

'Uh oh yeah... why?'

'You look like you're all torn up inside or something.'

'Yeah Morgan what's up... you and Pen have both been in odd moods for like a week now.' Reid added, Penelope had had a look in her eye like something was bothering her.

'It's nothing.' _**Oh it's something all right... the names Penelope...**_ 'I hope to have it sorted soon.'

'Okay... want to talk about it?'

'Nah... I don't know exactly what it is right now but when I do I'll let you know.' _**You liar Derek Morgan... you just blatantly lied to two colleagues.**_

'Well you and Pen better get back on ball soon because Hotch has picked up on it.'

_**Oh great.**_ 'Really?' He received nods and then he picked up his file he had. Although moments later his attention shifted. _**Heels, I hear heels...please dear God be someone else...**_ Derek looked to the door as Penelope pushed it open; her hands piled high with files and searches. _**God does she realise the spell she has?**_

_There he is... smile Penelope smile... act normal._ 'Hey handsome.' _Good job._

'Hey baby girl... how you doing today?'

'I am doing amazing thank you very much. How about yourself?' _SMILE!_

_**She's doing it... the smile... she's doing the smile she keeps for me... God!**_ 'Better for seeing you.' _**Wow Derek... aren't you just ultimate cheese at times?**_

She laughed. 'Good to hear I have that effect on you sweet cheeks.'

_**Of course you do... everyday baby girl.**_ He smiled. 'So what have you brought us today?'

'Ah this is the dampener I'm afraid... but it's what you all wanted.'

_**I didn't actually ask you for everything that I wanted.**_ 'You are quick baby girl.'

'Did you ever have to doubt it?' She flashed him a smile again and he smiled back. _God it's sinful to be able to smile like that! _'So for now here is yours hot stuff... knock yourself out.'

'Thanks.' He said taking the files off her. 'How about lunch later?' _**Again just us two.**_

'I'd love it.' _Again of course you do!_

'Okay baby girl... I'll stop by and get you.'

'Sounds good... now I have to pass these out to the other superheroes and get back to my mountainous pile of requests.' She flashed yet another perfected smile and moved on.

_**Christ...**_ _**does she do it on purpose? Those hips will get her a spanking one day... that's a promise.**_

When Penelope had finished her rounds, Derek felt a presence by his side. When he looked it was not only one but two presences. 'God guys give a man some breathing space.'

'Morgan...' Emily and Reid chimed together.

'What?'

'Just tell her.'

'Tell who what?'

'God you can be infuriatingly dumb at times.'

'Hey!' Derek defended.

'Tell Penelope...' Emily started.

'You love her.' Reid finished.

'You guys are crazy you know that!' _**Actually completely insane.**_ 'She doesn't like me like that.'

'Not what she's told me.'

'Emily... should you be dishing out Pen's business like that?' Reid inquired.

'Yes when the time requires it... so Morgan do you love her?'

_**Great nothing like being on the spot.**_ 'Yes.' He replied quietly.

'Are you in love with her?'

_**You are Derek... admit it!**_ 'Yes.' _**Good boy! It's a step. Even if miniscule but you just admitted it.**_

'Tell her then.'

'It's not that simple.'

'Why the hell not?'

'What if she's seen me go off with too many women... or she's found someone else?'

'No one else... and she are in love with you Morgan... go with it.'

_**I can't**_ his thoughts screamed, and then he said it. 'I can't... every time I bring myself to I just can't.'

'Can't or won't?'

_**God what is this, an interrogation.**_ 'I tried a week ago...'

'Ah so that's what's been bothering you.'

He nodded. 'It's harder than you think.'

'Just do it... blurt it out.'

'Oh so how about you and Hotch Prentiss? Or you and JJ Reid?'

'Hey we are only trying to help.' Emily said and then went back to her desk, then Reid followed.

_**Derek they're right... so right... blurting out may be abrupt but you both deserve to know how the other feels. Lunch... do it at lunch... don't be a coward and back down... be Derek Morgan... it's only Penelope!**_

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_You need to tell him... if JJ and Emily are picking up on it... and Hotch... Christ Hotch! Of all people the boss man has to pick up on it! You need this out once and for all... lunch do it at lunch... it'll be a public place and then nothing embarrassing can occur... no outbreaks can occur... subtly._

The knock on the door knocked Penelope out of her cognitive line of thought and she turned_. There he is._ 'Come in handsome.' She smiled.

He opened the door and couldn't help but smile. _**She certainly was a sexy mamma at times... like right now.**_ 'You ready baby girl?'

'I certainly am.' _Liar Penelope... you've spent 3 hours trying to prep for a lunch with your best friend... you've never done that before! And you're still not ready._

'Let's go then.' He put his hand out and she took it. _**God her skins so soft.**_

_God I love the way his hand is so much bigger than mine... it makes me feel protected. '_So where are you taking me?' She asked as they exited the elevator and headed for the doors to freedom.

'I was thinking just a small diner... get you your favourite milkshake.'

'Hey I only like those milkshakes because of you!' He shot her a look. 'I remember that day too well handsome... you and your milkshake moustache.' He giggled. _You looked sexy with it._

'Don't remind me... but I'm glad my imperfections can help your food likings.'

Just as he helped her up into the SUV his cell rang. 'Morgan?' She watched him sigh. 'Seriously?' She watched his expression change, heard him say a couple more words and then snap his phone shut. 'Sorry baby girl... looks like lunch has to wait.' _**Seriously bad timing!**_

'Another case?' She said obviously disappointed.

'Afraid so... Hotch wants us both up in the conference room in about... well now.'

'Well let's get back handsome.' _So much for psyching yourself up to tell him Penelope._

_**Looks like I won't be telling her anytime soon... **_He thought as he took her hand in his and walked back towards the building.


	4. Not today

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

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Mini key:-

Derek's thoughts: _**bold and italic.**_

Penelope's thoughts: _italic_

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_12 days, 7 hours, 36minutes, and 35 seconds.... 36 seconds... 37 seconds... stop this Penelope! Clock watching never helps matters! Yet here you are, you know they'll be back before you know it so let it be... you need to use this time wisely... like another psyching up yourself session!_

The team had been pulled away that day when Derek and Penelope were suppose to go for lunch, the case had pulled them 5 hours across the country on yet another chase for a sadistic unsub who got a pleasure out of killing families in the dead of the night. Penelope had done her best to help out like she was always did and to the success of the team were all able to get the last family before the Unsub. Now she stayed at the office awaiting their arrival once again. She snapped out of her thoughts and hastily answered her cell as it rang with the infamous tune of Derek Morgan.

'Hello.' _Penelope! Since when do you answer phone with just a hello?_

'What no cheeky halfwit this time?' Derek's voice came out smoothly with an evident smile on his face.

_Bugger!_ 'Sorry sweet cheeks I was lost in thought.' _About you._

'Anything in particular?'

_YOU!_ 'Bit of everything really.'

'Want to talk about it baby girl?'

'No I'm fine handsome.' _Really? You sure Penelope... you're lying to him again!_

'Sure?'

'Positive.'

'Okay... well, we are about 20 minutes away, you still in your bunker?'

'I am indeed... eagerly awaiting the arrival of my superheroes.'

He laughed down the phone at her. 'Well we will be there soon and that's a promise.'

'Okay hot stuff... I will see you then, then.'

'You will do!' She closed the phone and sighed. _That was normal Penelope... nothing forced in that conversation at all just a normal chat with your best friend._

Truth be told the team walked into the bull pen and found Penelope there waiting, relaxing in Derek's chair, a large smile plastered on her face.

'I take this as we've been missed?' Hotch commented. Derek who hadn't seen her sitting there due to his general eagerness to dump his bag and head to her office froze at the sight.

'Well get's lonely occasionally.' Penelope replied happily.

_**This is ridiculous Derek! It's your best friend! Not some floozy air head but Penelope, the woman in your life that gives you everything, always has and always will, don't act odd now.**_

'Hey baby girl.' _**God she looks impressively amazing.**_

'Hey handsome.' _Go on my Adonis... flash that smile... oh! There it is!_

'Right everyone you have the next 3 days off... go home, reports can wait for now.' Hotch said, smiling when everyone smiled back. 'Drinks tomorrow night though yeah?' He looked at Penelope. 'These plans include you too Garcia.'

'Got it Sir.' She said standing up with a smile.

'Right everyone off home now.' Hotch ordered and headed up to his office.

Just as Penelope was walking past Derek he grabbed her arm and pulled her back. 'You come to mine baby girl... we need to talk.'

'Okay handsome.' She swallowed. _Talk... yes Penelope... the thing you've been revving up for is now nigh so take it and talk._ 'I need to get my bag from my office and lock up and then I'm all yours.'

'Okay baby girl.' _**Right Derek it will be just you and Penelope, perfect opportunity, you've taken nearly 2 weeks to get psyched up again so just do it!**_

Moments later Derek and Penelope were leaving the BAU in their normal fashion and then separated to go to their respective modes of transport. Vowing to see one another in a couple of minutes.

_Penelope... your moment is fast approaching if it comes to it just blurt it out as soon as the front door is closed, keep your hand on the handle so if the moment goes bad you can leave quickly and save the embarrassment of Derek laughing... actually would he do that?_

_**What if she doesn't believe me? What can I do to make her realise that I'm in love with her? And have been for way too long. I need to make this genuine and special.... Derek don't be a jerk about this and womanize her... its Penelope not some random one off... do this right... for both your sakes.**_

Their train of thought took them the entire journey to Derek's place, and when they parked they both felt the time was right. When Penelope got out of Esther there was Derek waiting for her with a smile on her face. She felt her shoulders drop; he saw it and was about to ask her what was wrong but then she smiled and all worries defused.

_**There's that smile.**_ 'Come on baby girl... let's get a drink, put on a film, order in and have this chat that is nearly 13 days late.'

'I think that would be very wise.' _Of course you do Penelope... you've spent the last near enough 13 days gearing up for this._

They walked in easy silence but as they got nearer the door they noticed a light on, and then the door opened.

'Mom!'

'Hello to you too son!' Said the woman at the door.

'Sorry... hi mom.... what are you doing here?'

Derek accepted a hug off his mom. 'I got a phone call off Hotch and Rossi... something about some days off could I get here and spend some time with you, apparently his sorted it for basically everyone.' She then looked at Penelope as she stood nervously.

'Oh it's great to have you here it really is.'

'Who's you friend baby?'

'Oh mom... this is Penelope.'

'Penelope Garcia?' She enquired.

'The one and only.'

'It's lovely to meet you Mrs Morgan.'

'Call me Fran dear... it's lovely to finally meet you at long last Penelope, Derek talks about you a lot to myself and his sisters.' She smiled as Penelope blushed. 'I see that surprises you.'

'Yeah it really does.'

'Why would that be?'

_You're kidding right?_ 'Because I'm sure that Derek has better things to talk about than me.'

'Nonsense P!' Derek said with a smile. _**I love talking about you! Trust my mom to bring it up though!**_

'I'm sure you do handsome...' She said with a smile. 'Right our chat can wait I'm sure.' Penelope said successfully hiding her disappointment at missing the chance. 'But I will see you tomorrow night, bring your mom, it will be fun.'

'Baby girl, come in we can still have that chat.' _**Seriously... Derek a chat like that you do not do in close proximity with your mother!**_

'Don't worry... spend some time with your mom... you deserve it after this case.' _Successfully dodged Penelope!_

'You sure?'

'Perfectly.'

'Okay well go home and get some rest... Hotch called in some favours and we know you hadn't left the office for at least 36 hours.'

'It's my job... I like always being on hand.'

'Well maybe but we still want you on ball.'

'And you have me.' She smiled. 'Anyway, it was lovely to meet you Fran... see you tomorrow?'

'I hope so.' Fran said happily.

'See you later baby girl.' He said pulling her into a tight embrace. 'See you tomorrow.' He said as he pushed a kiss on her head.

'You will handsome... have fun.' She replied as she headed for Esther. _Well you've met his mom at least Penelope... she seems nice... and now you know Derek talks about you... doesn't that kind of instil that you need this chat?_

_**As much as I love my mom... today maybe wasn't the best timing for Hotch and Rossi to bring her along. However, you're mom does seem impressed... maybe that's a sure sign that this can work? No Derek you make it work!**_


	5. A night with our thoughts

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

----------------------------------------------------

Mini key:-

Derek's thoughts: _**bold and italic.**_

Penelope's thoughts: _italic_

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_Maybe they're omens, I mean every time you get that bit closer to having 'the talk' something always pops up and snatches it away. That once upon a time scenario getting ever more distance once again, isn't it Penelope? _

Penelope got home after leaving Derek's and run a bath and started on the wine, she had felt so ready the moment she had stepped out of Esther and walked towards him. Now there was no way that chat was going to happen for a couple of days and she didn't know if waiting was a good idea. Every element under the sun so far had played against her or so it seemed.

She fell down on the couch with a sigh and saw she had a voicemail, she hadn't heard the phone ring when she was in the bath but then again she hadn't been listening out for it. She stood and pushed play and then reclaimed her seat again.

Hey baby girl... really sorry we didn't get that chat but I really want to have it and we will... the next time the world can wait.

I will see you tomorrow night though goddess. Love you.

_Love you... seems pretty ironic now... seriously is that a brotherly love you or is it something else? Penelope you need this sorted out soon... he needs to talk to you, you need to talk to him, its simple! Have the talk!_

She looked around the apartment and her eyes gazed over the flowers that were waiting for her, seems her bosses were sorry they couldn't supply a family member so instead had arranged the whole evening the next night so she could have her whole family together, although this time Fran Morgan would be added to the number.

_I can see where Derek gets his manners and gentleness at least now... he is so much like his mom... but whoa! He talks about you Penelope... when you aren't around he talks about you... to his mom... and whoa, whoa, whoa his sisters as well! Why would he do that? That seriously is nothing short of embarrassing. I blushed! Oh My God! I blushed in front of his mom! God now that is embarrassment if it ever had to be demonstrated._

_Well apart from the blushing Penelope, his mom seems to like you, that's got its ups I suppose. Liked by a woman that knows about you hypothetically speaking and has met you for no more than 5 minutes earlier tonight. It's a good start seeing as tomorrow night you will be out and about with them._

With her thoughts running wild she decided more alcohol would confuse her further so she picked herself up, turned the alarm on, turned the lights off and headed for her bed. In the darkness she lay, her thoughts still on hyper mode, still dancing haphazardly in front of her. There was just no switching them off.

_What do you like about Derek? Apart from the obvious being that he a very nice looking man, actually he is the most naturally gorgeous man you have ever seen. He's your best friend too Penelope... that the importance. He knows you too well, he was trying to protect you from Battle, you ignored him despite everything. He took you back. He makes you feel safe. He makes you feel loved. He makes you feel better after a bad case. He looked after you after you were shot. He got your chair level perfectly right when you were still too weak to fix it yourself. He makes you smile the most. He knows you inside and out. You're his baby girl._

And with that finally thing said Penelope smiled and pulled the quilt up more. She was not going to give up on something that was still yet to start.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'I'm sorry I disrupted your evening son.'

'It's no problem mom really... I love the fact your here.'

'Well Rossi and Hotch got someone for everyone to have for a day or so.' She saw Derek look down and then run a hand over his head. 'Derek what's wrong?'

'Pen... she doesn't have anyone.' _**Her family was the team, so they would have their real family while hers weren't going to come near her.**_

Fran looked slightly upset in that instant. 'Aw baby... ring her and ask her round if she's going to be all alone.'

'She won't take the offer mom... but I do need to ring her and reinforce something so I will be right back.'

'Okay don't hurry... take as much time as you need.' She watched Derek stand and take his phone out and then close the door to kitchen as he stepped outside.

_**Right Derek be normal on this call... don't babble on, you need to have this talk... you both said you need it so you definitely need it. It's ringing... and ringing... where are you baby girl? Damn answer phone.**_

When he had finished he went back into the house and saw he mom watching him, the question written unasked on her face like it had been so many times before. 'Voice mail.'

'Was it an important chat you two needed?'

_**Can I shout from the high heavens a yes?**_ 'No it can wait.'

'Derek do not lie to your mother, you know better than that.'

'From my side I guess so but from Penelope... I don't know.'

'Want to talk about it? Fran said as she placed a hand on Derek's knee. 'You know you can offload to me anytime.'

'I don't know.' _**Derek lies again! It's becoming a habit lately!**_

'Don't know or don't want to?'

He sighed. 'I... I need to tell her something that's deep even for me.'

'Deep?'

'Yeah too deep that its raw and unforgiving and always there.'

'Is it a feeling you hope to get rid of when you have you talk?'

'No it's a feeling I want to grow and make me feel intense.' _**Derek you are a deep sensitive man really... bravo for proving that to your mom!**_

'You're in love with Penelope aren't you?'

Derek looked at his mom with wide eyes. 'How did you guess?'

'Mother's intuition and the way you held her earlier... I'm really sorry I prevented you from getting it out.'

'It doesn't matter anyway... I guess the amount of times it fallen through should be a warning sign shouldn't it?'

'No... no it shouldn't... Derek loves never easy and that's what makes it special. The way she looked at you and took to your hug earlier proved she wants this chat and I think it's on the similar lines as yours.'

'But everything gets in the way.' _**That screams a downhill spiral... I can't have one chat because life comes in between it all... isn't that a sign?**_

'But you haven't started it yet.' Fran said to reinforce her point. 'You haven't had chance, its the initial obstacles that make it hard but if you want it you fight, don't give up at the first hurdle.'

'You're the third.' _**Isn't it usually one too many... isn't three a bit like too far?**_

'Well still don't give up! If you want Penelope to know you let her know but I've never known my son to give up on things and I don't want to see him start now.'

'You're right.'

'Of course I am... I'm your mother.'

'That you are.' Derek smiled, his mother had helped out once again and because of it he was more determined. When the darkness came later that night and he was alone, he found his thoughts whizzing unhealthily around him.

_**Derek it's Penelope... you know the woman you've trusted the most in the word for nearly 8 years, the woman who has shown you light when you thought it was impossible... you love her so tell her... your mom seems to like her, surely that's a good sigh? A really good sign... but now Penelope knows you talk about her to your mom... is that a good or bad thing?**_

_**Derek... in all honesty what is it you love about her? You knew you would have to ask yourself this question so now's a good time to ponder on it!**_

_**I love the way her voice lingers in my head. How her touch seems to be left imprinted on my skin. The way she smiles at me. The way she makes me smile. The way she makes me feel like I'm the most important person in her life. The way she cares. The way she comes in as the saviour, as my savious. I love her eyes, her lips, her entire self. Her entire being. But most importantly I love the fact she's my one and only baby girl.**_


	6. All for show

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

----------------------------------------------------

Mini key:-

Derek's thoughts: _**bold and italic.**_

Penelope's thoughts: _italic_

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_**Stop twiddling you thumbs Derek... she'll be here. You know she will. Just chill or your mom will pick up on it**_

'Right Pen should be here in a couple of minutes... drinks?' Emily said placing her phone back in her pocket.

'Just a beer.' _**Oh Derek you could use something stronger... all this tension your feeling, you need to relax.**_

'Same.'

'You know me, you and Pen have the same.' JJ smiled.

'I'll have what I just had thanks.' Emily smiled and stood, they were still awaiting Reid, Rossi and Penelope. Minutes later their bubbly blonde tech entered with their resident genius and Derek didn't realise he was staring and grinning madly until his mom hit his arm.

_**Crap! Trust your mom to pick up on what you're doing! Your mom of all people... seriously! The sooner you have this talk maybe the sooner you can move on and be oh... normal again!**_

'Hey guys! Sorry we're late... Reid broke down, didn't you sweetie.'

'Yeah... my fault.' Reid said as he slipped onto a chair by JJ.

'Hey handsome.' Penelope said as she took the chair next to Derek. _**God he looks fine tonight.**_ 'Hi Fran.' _Why does she have annoying smile? Is that worrying? Leave it alone Penelope, do not get caught up in that head of yours... it's not always healthy!_

'Hi Penelope, lovely to see you again.'

'And you.' Penelope said with a smile.

'Hey baby girl... how was your day?' _**She has to wear the clothes that hug her teasingly doesn't she? All the time! Derek don't complain you enjoy it, it makes Penelope Garcia sexy.**_

'It's been okay... how about yours?' _Not really Penelope, you know full well it's been anything but okay._

'It's been good... just catching up with my mom that's all.' _**Ask her! You never question to ask her! **_'Pen what's up?' _**Good you didn't hold back.**_

'Nothing handsome.' _You do realise you are like a professed liar lately?_

_**Push her.**_ 'Pen?'

'It's nothing okay...' She responded abruptly. _Okay harsh Penelope._ 'Sorry...I'll be right back I just need to go to the loo.' _To chill off for many reasons, your main one being DEREK MORGAN!_ Penelope stood and headed for the bathroom, JJ followed shortly after. Minutes later they both came back and happily accepted their drinks. Hours passed and the whole team were now together laughing and joking, Fran very much interested in observing her sons behaviour with Penelope.

'Emily let's go dance.' Hotch said putting his hand out.

'Yeah Reid let's go.' JJ said dragging Reid off his stool before he had the single chance to answer yes or no.

'Fran, care to dance?' Rossi asked and Fran accepted, knowing full well what was going on.

'Looks like it leaves us baby girl.' FINALLY!

'Go on handsome... I've seen 6 women check you out already, I don't mind you go ahead.'

'P what's wrong?'

'Nothing... go on dance.'

'No, everyone has someone, so I want you.' _**You said it! At last you said it, in some sense.**_

'It's just not been the best day handsome, so get yourself some fine miss thing and enjoy your evening.'

'What if I only want to dance with you?' _**Which I will not take no for an answer.**_

She looked at him and gave up. 'Come on but you don't have to.' _But Penelope you know you've been waiting to dance with Derek all night!_

'No I know I don't but I want to.' He smiled and pulled her to her feet. _**Of course you want to! You dreamed about dancing with her last night silly!**_

They joined the others and danced and had fun for much too long and before they knew it they were the remaining pair left out of the team when they walked back they slumped into their chairs laughing and bantering.

'Have fun you two?'

'Em did you really have to ask?' JJ said laughing. 'They always have fun.'

Penelope looked over to the door and sighed and shook her head. 'I will be right back... there's a little matter that will not leave me alone that I need to attend to.' They watched her walk about and saw the one and only Kevin Lynch standing by the entrance, Derek looked ready to bolt. They watched Penelope drag Lynch outside her face burning with anger.

'Penny! I just watched you dance all over him for an hour!'

_Clever arse hole!_ 'So what?'

'How dare you.'

'Excuse me?' _Is this guy for real?_

'I want you back Penny.'

'No. I told you earlier I don't want to hear it Kevin.'

'But I love you.'

'Yeah really? You show it strangely.' _Seriously is this happening? I want to have fun but instead I'm arguing with the one man that should be in Maine._

'I was a jerk but marry me and I'll make you happy.' _Wow at least you can admit it this time._

The team looked out of the word as Penelope cut Lynch off with her body language; her arms folded to her chest, her face looking completely worn down and pissed off. They exchanged occasionally glances with one another but kept watching what was unfolding. Derek still looking reading to bolt at any given moment.

Lynch got on one knee and Penelope began to hysterically laugh at him, he continued completely undeterred.

'Penny will you marry me?'

'No.'

'Why not.'

'Because she doesn't love you.' Derek said from behind Lynch.

'Oh trust you to come along... still fuelling her pathetic head.'

'Kevin just leave.'

'No... not until I know what we have here.'

'Hey Pen...' Derek said approaching. 'Kevin what we have here is simple.' Derek pulled Penelope into his arms and kissed her on the lips with so much passion and intimacy that Lynch thought his jaw might soon hit the ground. Penelope's head began to swim. _Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Reality check... yes Penelope dear your lips are well and truly connected with those of Derek's_

Everyone inside the bar looked at one another and smiled. 'Well that took a lot longer that we thought.'

'Longer?' Fran asked. 'You all saw it too?'

'We've seen it since Penelope was shot.'

'They're both stubborn... so hopefully this is the start of something new.'

'And the other man?'

'Kevin Lynch, Penelope's ex, he broke her heart and ran off and got married.' Fran nodded and looked at the window smiling as Derek looked at Penelope, her face cupped with his hands.

'You bitch.' Kevin spat breaking up the view.

'Kevin just leave... there's nothing here for you now. Never really was.' _Okay so you outer tone is set stable but WOW Derek Morgan just kissed you... was it what you expected? No. No? No it was much better._

_**Kissing Penelope was amazing! Could you get use to that? Of course you could!**_ They watched Lynch walk away. 'You okay?'

'Yeah, his been hanging around all day... so yeah I am now... erm... uh... thank you for that. Great show for him to see.' She replied and headed back in before he had a chance to tell her. _Derek Morgan really does put on a convincing show Penelope but don't get ideas until after that talk yeah?_

_**She doesn't believe it... yet. **_Derek followed Penelope back into the bar and they reclaimed their seats like nothing had happened. The team sat and sighed annoyed, that much intimacy was not a nothing kiss.

'Penelope what did Lynch want?'

'He's not with his wife anymore... so came back to reconcile... he just asked me to marry him and then Derek came out and put on a show and now Kevin's left, which I hope is for good.'

'You two infuriate me endlessly.' Hotch said standing, everyone other than Penelope and Derek nodded. 'Right drinks?'

'Apple Martini for us 3... but me and Emily are taking Rossi and Reid dancing.' Emily answered getting in the normal for the 3 women of the team. When they all left, Fran, Derek and Penelope were left.

_Why would we infuriate Hotch? He can't seriously think something is going on can he?_

'I'm going to pop to the loo, I'll be right back.' Derek said standing. _**That kiss was surreal.**_

Fran watched Derek get out of all ranges of hearing ability before turning to Penelope. 'I hope you know my son wasn't just putting on a show out there Penelope.'

'Excuse me?' Of course he was... it was nothing more than to put a nerd in his place.'

'My son very much loves you Penelope, we've all seen it, just then outside, the way he holds you and looks at you and talks to you.'

'Fran, it's nice you see it but things the way things are it's just not going to work out like that. Derek has the pick of the ladies; I'm not in that category.'

'My son doesn't have a category...'

'I'm just not like the women he usually goes for; the women he can get. I'm the best friend the one that listens to his pain, his guilt, his shame, his happiness. I get the sideline of his life.' But I want the main field of it. 'Just like he has mine.' Penelope smiled sadly, she looked at her watch. 'I'm going to head off home.'

'Penelope don't go please.'

'I'm sorry Fran... todays been a bit too much to take.' Penelope stood as Hotch arrive back. 'Sir let Emily or JJ have my drink, I'm going to go... say bye to others for me please.'

'Everything okay?'

'Perfectly.' _Lied to the boss man now!_

'You sure you want to go?' Penelope nodded. 'Let me walk you to a cab at least.'

'I'll be fine.'

'That was not an option.'

'Fine... Fran it was lovely seeing you again and I hope to see you when little kinks like the one earlier don't occur.' _Life's just one lovely rollercoaster and thanks to that kiss, it's that added some more loop the loops and twisters to the bunch, great because life couldn't just be simple could it?_

'I hope so Penelope... take care.'

Penelope smiled and left with Hotch, knowing she was going to get a chat now, a long stern one. When Derek came back he was evidently geared up for something but he lost that momentum when he saw his mom talking to Rossi and a table of drinks but missing members. 'Where's Pen and Hotch?'

'Penelope's gone home; Hotch has just taken her to a cab.'

'Is she okay?'

'Yes.'

'I'll be right back.'__Derek said and made his way for the door. _**I need to find her... that kiss was so real and meant everything it was supposed to. I need her to know that now. I need that chat. But there's Hotch, on his own, no Penelope. Damn it! Seems I won't get that talk again. God Derek you need to learn to just say things and care about the fallout after.**_


	7. Finally!

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

----------------------------------------------------

Mini key:-

Derek's thoughts: _**bold and italic.**_

Penelope's thoughts: _italic_

----------------------------------------------------

_My son very much loves you Penelope__. How do you take that when it comes from the mouth of the mother of the man you day dream and think about? The man you need to have a talk with and see if there's anything left to salvage afterwards. I mean would that chat do that? Would that type of chat destroy all bonds and ties you have to one another? Would you just walk away intact if the answer you wanted was never expressed? There they are again the pro's and con's of life... forever there, forever in the way... forever a pain._

Penelope was again well and truly deep on a thought train when there was a knock at the door. She huffed yet obeyed and pulled herself off the sofa and answered it, not bothered in looking she just wanted whoever it to be, to say what they had to and go. So she could get back to darkness, and her chats with her inner self or was it more like the little devil and angel on her shoulder?

She smiled slightly at the sight of him and relaxed. 'Hey baby girl... you going to let me in or are you just going to stay.' _**Right Derek yours mom home okay, you have Hotch's trust to not spring any calls, so you have this chat, do not screw up just say it. For your sake and Penelope's**_

'Derek what are you doing here?' _Do you really have to be here? Tonight, after _THAT_, really?_

'Well we shared a kiss earlier.' _**One of the best kisses.**_ 'And I feel it went down wrong.'

'Went down wrong? You kissed me to show Kevin there's nothing here for him and thank you for that. That was it, that's all it will be ever be.' _Although I wish differently._

'No baby girl... that kiss... was not for show.' _**That kiss was everything.**_

_Whoa!_ 'It wasn't?'

'No... I've been wanting to do that for much too long now.' _**And the talk begins, but different to how you've sat and memorized it!**_

_Brain overload! Warning! Brain overload!_ 'Pardon?'

'Pen I've been wanting you for too long now and every time I got close to telling you something seemed to always happen and I couldn't tell you and I mean I don't mind if you don't and... why are you smiling?' _**Isn't that usually a good sign? Or a sign she's going to laugh in my face... oh crap... what kind of can of worms have I released?**_

'Because...' She looked down but he instantly moved her face so her eyes were forced to look at him. _I can never not look at him._

'Well?'

'Because I've been trying to have the same talk with you.'

_**WHAT! Did she just say she wanted to have the same talk as me? **_His smile grew. 'Are for real?'

'I'm fed up Derek, fed up of being let down so I wanted to get one last thing off my chest and move on.'

'Move on?'

'I realised that a talk like that must destroy everything we have and I had kind of resigned myself to losing our friendship if I had said anything.'

'Me too.' She laughed. 'Baby girl, I really do love you, I think I always have and the team knew and my mom even knew but we didn't!'

'Your mom? She told me you loved me.'

'She told me that you think of yourself as on the side lines of my life P but you're not, you're well and truly on the main field.'

_You are! Like you wanted._ 'You too.'

'I'm happy to know it that._**' Move closer Derek that gaps too big, for any Penelope and Derek chats, that gap is too big! Close it now!**_ 'P, that kiss earlier was amazing and I'm glad I got to kiss you in full view of Lynch and the team and my mom for that matter.'

'They actually saw?'

'Everything.'

_Cringe. That's going to be questioned drastically. Girl interrogation will commence tomorrow first thing now!_ 'Handsome, I love you too but I'm...'

'...scared?' She looked up wide eyed. 'Me too, you know I'm not a one woman man but I am because of you, you're my reason for never keeping a girl and this has taken way too long to fell like the biggest weight off my shoulders.'

She sniggered. 'It does feel better.' _Like a whole back ache better!_

'So what do you say... do you want your love story with me?'

'I do... if you want yours with me?'

'Of course I do!' _**Of course you definitely do! That was easier than you or her by the looks of it could have imagined. **_'You just need to know that I plan to do this properly, and I plan to look after all of you in every aspect that I haven't. I'm in love with you Penelope Garcia.'

Derek then closed the gap between them completely; he placed a finger under her chin, then his hands around her face. He slowly leant down and took a kiss, much like the one from earlier but with more intensified emotions, ones that sent thousands of volts of electricity swimming in their veins, the type of kiss that make the lips tingle well after the end of the kiss. The type that make the hairs stand up on the backs of necks and any female lift her leg in ecstasy.

_The talk Penelope... was a good talk wasn't it? He was the gentleman you hoped but not the one that would let you down gently but the one that expressed everything you had wanted to. The one that told you his loved you for too long. Hang on, that's right! Derek Morgan has loved you for too long! Now that is an achievement to have. It seems pondering made that kiss worthwhile, and you got to show Kevin, the one person that needed to be put in a place in life that wasn't somewhere he could think he had a chance. I bet you'll remember this kiss now won't you? Told you so!_

_**Derek Morgan loves his best friend and to your utter surprise she loves you back... hang on, did you ever doubt she loved you? 8 years after all, time does make the heart fonder... obviously from both ends. Just treat her right or you know full well that you won't have to answer to your mom but Hotch and the team will be ready to scrutinise you too! But you know from the way she's looking at you right now you could never do that to her and won't. Just think now that kiss from earlier, the kiss that she reciprocated with as much passion and intimacy was her small way of getting things started like it was yours.**_

The pair looked at one another and couldn't believe a talk that had taken so long to happen came out with so much ease and certainty and the other would feel the same. Both had told the truth and both had benefitted. Now both were turning a chapter in life, like hoped but not separately and despondent but completely the opposite. It was a love story after all.

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The End!

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_**A/N: **_So there's the end... I want to thank everyone that reviewed and enjoyed!

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